Queeriosity
Oftentimes when we encounter a transgender person in a traffic signal or a train journey or elsewhere, we tend to stare at them with or without their knowledge. I believe people do it more likely as an act of curiosity to know about a fellow human being who looks stranger than a usual man or a woman. In other words, ‘queeriosity’.
Yes, some people do humiliate transgender people because of the disgust or transphobia they have. But again, I strongly believe that in most cases, the disgust also arises only because of the curiosity they have about those strange-looking human beings.
Talking about disgust, thanks to Indian cinema for always portraying trans/gay people as perverts until very recently.
I always had a soft-corner for transgender people. Whenever I saw them beg and people respond “Don’t you have arms and legs in good shape? Why can’t you do some work and earn instead of begging or doing sex work?”, I used to feel there must be reasons that prevent them from taking up regular jobs. Are we ready to accept them in our workplace in first place?
These incidents triggered a searching in me. I even befriended a couple of transgender people.
About 7 years back (2016), I saw a transperson in the Chennai local train begging. She must be in my age group. She was dressed up elegantly. Her approach while begging was polite unlike some arrogant & demanding trans-people I had seen during the train journeys. Something kept telling me to talk to her but I was afraid I’ll be mistaken. While this thought was running in my mind, suddenly she got into an argument with some college students who were standing on the footboard.
She was yelling: “All I asked you is for money. If you said no, I would have just moved on. Why did you have to touch me inappropriately?”
Clearly, there was another side to the coin about the behavior of trans-people. And more clearly, that moment was not when I could walk up to her and say hi.
On another day, I was travelling in the local train with my friends Soorya and Rohini. The same trans-person came begging. And I narrated the incident I witnessed the other day when I first saw that person. I told them I feel like talking to her but I’m afraid. My friends gave me reassurance that my intent is good and I can go talk to her confidently. I gathered all the courage in the world and walked up to her.
She was slightly intimidated initially as I interrupted her way down the aisle. But when I made eye-contact, she started listening. I told her I want to talk to her and if she can get down in Kodambakkam railway station. She initially said she can’t lose her time making money, but a moment later she said she’ll get down and we shall talk.
Boarded down at Kodambakkam with my friends and all of us sat with her on a stone bench. Though none of us still had no idea how a person becomes a transgender, we made sure we didn’t ask any personal questions to that stranger.
Asked her about her whereabouts and we got to know she’s an M.C.A graduate. She identified herself as transgender during college days but kept on with that life until she completed her studies. Got her gender affirmation surgery done after completing her studies and became a transwoman. Luckily, her parents accepted her as a transwoman after a bit of a struggle. But since her parents weren’t also from a financially stable background, she moved into Chennai with them in search of livelihood.
We were quietly listening all these time and the one question that kept lingering in all our minds were “Why does an MCA graduate have to beg?”
I asked her.
She said she never gave off any interviews in IT firms as she never saw any call-fors for trans people. She was afraid whether she’ll be welcomed respectfully even to attend an interview, so she never tried. (Well, it’s true that as far as Indian firms are concerned, ‘inclusivity’ is just a fancy term that exist on papers.) Edit on 2024-Jun-27: I take back that statement. Situation looks to become better.
End of the conversation, we 4 created a WhatsApp group for us and dispersed. Though she was in touch with us only for a brief time, she gave us all an important experience.
My searching did not end there. At least her parents accepted her a transperson. Do all parents accept their children who identify themselves as transgenders?
Couple of years later, I attended an event called ‘Chennai International Queer Film Festival’ organized by LGBTQ+ support group Orinam where they conducted group discussions, screen documentaries and short films, invited gender minority people to express the story of their lives through art forms, etc. This film festival happens every year. Follow Orinam’s Instagram page if you want to know the updates.
One of the items in the agenda that year was a mono-acting event by a transwoman named A. Revathi who enacted her life and the tragic incidents she had gone through. She mentioned she had written an autobiography named Vellai Mozhi (வெள்ளை மொழி) in Tamil. The book is translated to English titled ‘The Truth About Me: A Hijra Life Story’.
Time came for Vellai Mozhi to occupy my book shelf only by this year. In the 46th Chennai bookfair held at YMCA, Nandanam on January 2023, ‘Queer Publishing House’ for the first ever time was given a stall. I didn’t know there were that many Queer literature that already exists until I visited the stall. Since I have met transwoman Ms. A. Revathi and I knew about her book, I bought it. The book didn’t disappoint me.
I didn’t expect an autobiography to be this interesting though tragic. As I mentioned in the initial part of this blog, all of us are or were curious about the What’s, When’s and How’s of a trans-person’s life. We have soooooo many questions
Were they born men?
They are dressed up as a woman, do they have a female genitalia now?
How can male genitalia be replaced with that of a woman’s?
Wouldn’t it be painful?
Is it not against the nature for someone to be born a man and get operated to become a woman?
Did someone ‘change their mind’ to make them think they are women?
Do they menstruate?
Can they get pregnant?
Are they perverts?
Do they have sexual desires?
Why are they arrogant and always demanding for money?
Do they use men’s washroom or women’s washroom in the public places?
Where do they live?
Do they live only with other transgender people?
Why should they do sex-work?
How do they have sex?
Endless questions!
Ms. A. Revathi’s brutally honest autobiography has got answers to almost all these questions.
Governments made initiatives last 2–3 decades to bring ‘Sex Education’ as part of the school curriculum. Reason being, when adolescents are educated to answer their curious questions about the opposite sex, they might become more respectful towards the opposite sex.
In a similar way, if the curiosity that the gender majorities — men and women have about the gender minorities like Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and other queer communities (LGBTQ+) gets quenched, I’m sure we’ll live in a better and inclusive world.
Giving a read on Vellai Mozhi / The Truth About Me: A Hijra Life Story will be an important step towards that change!
